


Two of a Kind

by endemictoearth



Series: Two of a Kind [1]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Family Dinners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endemictoearth/pseuds/endemictoearth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rae goes to dinner at Finn's house and meets his parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two of a Kind

**Author's Note:**

> This was written prior to the revelation that Finn's mum left the family when he was younger, so Finn's parents are together in this fic and the follow-up.

Though she wondered about it all the time, Rae rarely let herself ask Finn what he was doing with her. It bothered him, and she didn’t want him to get frustrated with her. And there were moments, usually when they were alone, when she completely got it. They would be strewn sideways across Finn’s bed, their heads hanging over the side, feet halfway up the wall, listening to music. With one look from Rae, Finn would know whether to skip the track or change the album. They spent a lot of their time together wordlessly nodding their heads to music.  
  
Or, after an album had ended and they didn’t notice because they were so busy making out. That felt pretty great, too. When their eyes were squeezed shut and her lips on his, things made a lot of sense.

  
However, sometimes when they were with the gang, and nearly every time they were out in public, all of Rae’s insecurities came flooding back. The feelings of freedom and lightness she experienced lying next to Finn changed to heavy chains of worry and doubt when subjected to the gaze of strangers. She hated herself for caring what other people thought, but she knew exactly what they were thinking when they looked at her, and had a very good idea what they thought when she and Finn were out together.  
  
Finn felt it, too. Her body language was completely different when they went for chips after a film (tense, fists clenched) than when they hung out by the viaduct with Archie, Chop and Izzy (open, relaxed, playful). She didn’t talk about it much, but there were a few times when she’d stated plainly that he could get any girl he wanted. He’d always say, “Yeah, but I don’t want just any girl, Rae. I want you.”  
  
***  
  
He’d already admitted that he’d chickened out that day before the rave in his room. He should have stopped after I-W-A-N-T-Y-O-U, but he’d glanced up into her eyes and her look was cryptic enough to cast doubt, and he hastily added T-O. Because there was no reason he couldn’t have said that out loud, even if Chloe might have come back at any second. But then Rae got queasy, and he didn’t get another chance to say want he wanted to that day.  
  
They had replayed several moments like that in their short history, and even though Finn had all but admitted to liking her from the time she went on the date with Archie, Rae still worried.  
  
“I don’t know why it matters,” Finn protested.  
  
“I don’t really know why, either, but I want to know.”  
  
“I guess … I just thought that you and Archie didn’t fit. You didn’t seem the same type of person. Not that you couldn’t be friends, but that anything more would be … wrong. Or somethin’.” Finn looked down at his beer can. “I can’t explain it any better than that.”  
  
“Yeah, but why did you think that we would … fit?” Rae was perplexed, and Finn was apparently feeling as chatty as he could muster.  
  
“It’s just a feeling I got. Don’t you think we’re alike?”  
  
“Yeah, I do, but …”  
  
“But? But what?”  
  
“Well, I guess it’s just hard to say why. And I like to know why things are the way they are. Between people, I mean.” She sighed. “Sorry, this is borin’.”  
  
Finn shifted closer to Rae, and took her left hand between both of his. “Listen. All I can say is, when I’m with you, I feel more like myself than I do with anyone else. You don’t make me feel stupid for not saying enough, and you don’t ask me to do daft things like go to the shopping center and look at shoes or whatever. You make me happy, Rae.” He looked her straight in the eye. “And I hope I make you happy, too.”  
  
“You do!” she practically shouted. “It’s just … sometimes I wish we could lock ourselves away from everyone and everything and just be happy the two of us.”  
  
Finn smiled. “That would be amazing … but I know that soon I wouldn’t be enough for ya.” He seemed to have a moment of clarity. “You really want me all to yourself sometimes, and then for me not to be around the rest of the time.”   
  
Rae stiffened at the realization that he wasn’t completely off base. She hadn’t figured it out for herself, but Finn was pretty dead on.  
  
“And the thing is, Rae, that I just want to be with you all the time, everywhere, with everyone. I want you to come to tea at my house, and go for drinks at the pub, and meals at the chippy, and …” He withdrew his hands and stared down at his palms. “And I don’t think you want to do those things with me.”  
  
“Oh, Finn!” She felt terrible. She did want to do those things, but she just wished she didn’t feel judged by everyone for their relationship. Everyone expected Finn to be with some knock-out, and for her to be with … no one. “I want to be with you all the time. I really do. I just wish that …”  
  
“Other people weren’t around?”  
  
“Only the ones that judge me. Us.”  
  
“Our friends don’t judge! My folks won’t judge! Why don’t you ever stay for tea?” Finn looked really hurt.  
  
“Okay, I will. Tomorrow?” This time, Rae reached out for Finn’s hand.  
  
He raised an eyebrow and said, “Why not tonight?”  
  
Rae looked down at her to see what she was wearing. It was her standard issue long sleeve shirt under band tee and her grungiest jeans. “Ummm, well. Do I have time to change?”  
  
Finn looked at this watch and saw it was nearly six. “Actually, no.” He smiled, stood up, and stretched his hand down to help Rae up. She arranged herself so she could get up without his hand, but took it, anyway, so he wouldn’t feel slighted.   
  
“But I look like a dog’s dinner!”  
  
“You definitely don’t.”  
  
“I need to let my mum know I won’t be back till later. Couldn’t we just …?” She pointed in the opposite direction from where they were walking, indicating she wanted to nip home.  
  
“You can ring her from my house. It’s closer, anyway.”  
  
“Well …won’t your mum be cross you didn’t let her know?”  
  
Finn cleared his throat. “Well, I said you MIGHT be coming to eat tonight.”  
  
“Oh, you DID, did you?” Rae played at being annoyed and swatted his arm. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine! I’ll come in my dingiest clothes.”  
  
“You’ve met my dad plenty of times, anyway,” Finn said. “And you met my mum that one time, so she knows who you are.”  
  
“That sounds ominous. ‘She knows who you are.’ And who did you tell her I am?”  
  
“My girlfriend, of course.”  
  
“Of course.”   
  
Finn grabbed her hand and she automatically matched his gait.   
  
***  
  
Finn’s dad opened the door, “Hi, you two! Rae, we’re so glad you’ll be eating with us. Aren’t we glad, Phyl?” He turned to look at Finn’s mum, who was standing by the door to the kitchen. Rae gave Finn a look and muttered “Phil?” under her breath.   
  
“My mum’s name is Phyllis,” Finn whispered.  
  
His mum was really pretty and quite slender. She was wearing an outfit that indicated she worked in a smart office.   
  
“It’s really nice of you to include me,” Rae said, smiling at both parents.  
  
“Do you two want to wash your hands?” Finn’s mum asked politely.   
  
“Um, sure.” Rae looked down at her hands, mortified that she had some dirt under one of her nails.   
  
“Yeah, we were in the park,” Finn led Rae to the downstairs toilet and said, “I’ll wash up in the kitchen.” He saw that she was nervous, and leant in to whisper, “Don’t worry. They won’t bite” in her ear. She laughed.  
  
***  
  
The four of them sit around the dining table. Finn’s dad was at the head, with Finn’s mum opposite her son, and Rae sitting next to Finn. Finn’s dad has already proven himself to be a chatty Cathy from Rae’s previous encounters with him, and he started off the dinner discussion, talking at length about his day. He really didn’t need anyone else around to have a conversation. When he paused for air, the first thing Finn’s mum asked her was, “So, Rae. How long have you and Finn known each other?”  
  
Finn looked at his mother quizzically and said, “You know how long, don’t you, Mum?”  
  
“Well, I’m not completely clear on the dates, but I guess it doesn’t matter.”  
  
“I met Finn at the beginning of July, Mrs. Nelson.”  
  
“Yes, I didn’t think it had been very long.”   
  
Rae shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Finn looked at his mother incredulously. He didn’t know what she was playing at.  
  
Finn’s dad said, “I remember being your age. A month felt like a year! You never make friends faster than when you’re young. Or girlfriends, either!” He smiled at the young couple. Rae looked at him gratefully.  
  
“Do you want seconds, Rae?” Mrs. Nelson asked, holding a spoonful of mashed potato. There was something about the way she said it, but Rae didn’t want to believe that Finn’s mum was one of those people.   
  
“No, but thank you. Everything is delicious!” She had been pushing the food around her plate, the way fat girls train themselves to do in mixed company, but she now took a bite to prove she was enjoying it.  
  
Finn squeezed her hand under the table, and then wrote I-D-O-N-T-K-N-O-W on her left thigh.   
  
Finn’s dad smiled and said, “Actually, I made the meal. I was inspired by Lenny Henry!” He guffawed at his own comment. “You know, from Chef!”   
  
Finn’s mother smiled and said, “Yes, John cooked. I’ve been swamped at work, and he gets home early.”  
  
Rae had chuckled at John’s lame joke, and now softened her smile. “My mum works all hours at the hospital, so I have to make my own tea as often as not. It’s lovely to have a nice meal.”  
  
Without looking up from her plate, Phyllis asked Rae, “And what does your dad do?”  
  
Finn grabbed Rae’s hand and held it on top of the table. He looked at his mother and said, “Rae’s dad isn’t around. Her parents are divorced.”  
  
This dinner was turning into her worst nightmare. Rae smiled a little shakily at him and added, “Actually, my mum remarried recently. My stepdad is from Tunisia, and he’s a really nice bloke.”  
  
“Yeah, Mum. Remember me telling you about the wedding?” Finn’s voice was strained.   
  
“Oh, that’s right. How silly of me to forget!” She smiled and took a bite, chewing slowly.  
  
Rae really wished she could melt into a puddle and dissolve into the carpet. Finn traced S-O-S-O-R-R-Y on her thigh. Any other time, she would have joked about him stuttering while writing a message, but she just twisted her mouth into a sheepish smile.   
  
“Actually, Mum, can I have a word with you in the kitchen?” Finn stood up, and put his napkin next to his plate. His mother looked surprised, but nodded. Rae desperately wanted to leave, but knew she couldn’t until they returned.  
  
John looked at Rae with a smile and said, “You pair are two of a kind!”  
  
Rae looked slightly bewildered and asked defensively, “What do you mean?” before she could stop herself.   
  
“Oh, just that you two always seem to have some secret. I’ve seen your little looks. It’s nice, that’s all. Finn’s always been a solitary sod, pardon my French. I mean, he has mates and that, but no one I’d ever have said was his best mate. That is, until now.” He smiled at Rae. “I know my wife can be a bit prickly, but I swear it’s just because Finn is her baby. She’s been so busy, she hasn’t had a chance to meet you properly. But soon she’ll see what I see. I promise.”   
  
Rae wanted to get up and hug Mr. Nelson, but instead she smiled shyly and said, “Thanks. I hope so.”  
  
***  
  
In the kitchen, Finn whispered urgently to his mother, “Mum, what the bloody hell are you playing at?”  
  
She replied in a measured tone. “Finn, I’ve heard some things about your girlfriend, about Rae, that … concern me.”  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
“I was willing to overlook her … size.” Finn decided to let that go for the minute, since his mother clearly had other issues. “But, Finn! She’s been in a mental hospital.”  
  
“I know!” he practically shouted. Then he whispered again. “I know, Mum. She told everyone at her mum’s wedding. It was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do.”  
  
“And do you know why she was admitted?”  
  
“Yeah! She tried to hurt herself, because she started to believe all those assholes at school and in the street who kept telling her she wasn’t worth anything!” He whispered almost viciously.  
  
Phyllis faltered. “I–I just …”   
  
“You just WHAT?”  
  
“I just want you to be with someone normal, Finn.”  
  
Finn sighed. He had never expected this from his mum. But then, he’d never brought home a girl who didn’t look like a catalog model before.   
  
“Mum, you know what? Normal is borin’. Normal is ME. I thought I wanted someone normal, too, until I met Rae. She’s not normal, no. She’s … special. Unique.” Finn exhaled. “She’s bloody amazing.”  
  
Phyllis seemed to relax, or at least unclench, hearing Finn’s words.  
  
“But, Finn, you don’t know if she’ll go … mental … again.”  
  
“No, I don’t. And DON’T call her mental. I don’t know if she’ll try to hurt herself again; all I can do is try my best to help her be okay.”  
  
Seeing her son’s passion, she relented. “I’m sorry for the way I acted, Finn.” She sighed deeply. “I just love you so much and never want to see you get hurt.”  
  
“I love you, too, Mum. But I also love Rae, and you really hurt her tonight. You can tell her you’re sorry when we go back in.”  
  
She took a deep breath. “Okay. I will.”  
  
Finn started back into the dining room.  
  
***  
  
When Rae saw Finn, she started to stand up. “This has been a great meal, everyone, but I probably should be going.”  
  
To her surprise, all three Nelsons put their hands up to say, “No, stay!” She looked at Mrs. Nelson questioningly.   
  
Phyllis said, “Yes, please stay, Rae. Um, we still have dessert!” Finn shot her a stern look. “And … I need to apologize for my questions earlier. Really, for everything I said earlier.” She took a breath. “Someday, maybe you’ll have a son, and know what it’s like to meet his girlfriend. It’s not easy. I just want to make sure he’s happy.” She smiled at Rae, and the smile seemed genuine.    
  
Rae allowed herself to smile back. “I can imagine it’s pretty difficult. Especially when you’ve also just lost your mum.”  
  
Phyllis was surprised by Rae’s insightful remark. She had been holding everyone in her family a little bit closer since her mum passed away, that is, when she wasn’t taking on extra projects at work to take her mind off things. A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. “Yes,” was all she said.  
  
Finn’s dad had slipped out into the kitchen and returned with the dessert: profiteroles. Rae was instantly reminded of the horrible dress she’d almost had to wear to her mum’s wedding and burst out laughing. Finn looked confused for a second, and then remembered her hilarious description about how ugly the dress was, and he started laughing, too. Finn’s dad didn’t know what was going on, but he always liked a good laugh, so he joined in.   
  
Finn’s mum frowned, thinking that this wasn’t normal. Then, she remembered Finn’s speech in the kitchen and decided to really look at Rae. Her laugh was loud, but lilting, and her face had lit up with the amusing memory. Finn looked at Rae as he laughed, and there was real love in his eyes. And Phyllis couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him laugh like that. She smiled and chuckled, and waited for the story behind all this laughter. And when she heard it from Rae, she would really laugh.


End file.
